Thursday, January 27, 2011

Resentments and such

So I am working step 4 in my program, which is that we "made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves." I've been dragging my feet on this one for months! This step means we have to look at our resentment and our fears. On my first trip up the steps I had pages upon pages of resentments and fears, to the point where my sponsor finally said enough, now let's look at the point. The point is finding my part in all of it and cleaning up my side of the street. I think the reason I've been stalling on this is that my emotional and mental health has been so stable and I'm afraid to look at my fears and resentments because I am afraid to feel those things. Hm. Looks like someone's not being very honest with themselves... This time through, I don't have many resentments and I feel like I should rack my brain for more, but perhaps there's a reason my sponsor only gave me one page to write fears and one page to write resentments. :-) They say we cannot be in fear and faith at the same time; what camp am I in?


By the by, are there any true Jazz fans left out there? Like, a six game losing streak to some of the worst teams in the league? Guys not knowing what the plays are? Having to dig out of 19+ point deficits in most 4th quarters just to get the score to something close to even appearing to be a good effort? Frustrating. Very frustrating. Will Sloan change the line-up, try new starters? Could a caring fan slip some Red Bull into the Gatorade cooler while they're huddling on a time out? Might they wear Shape Up sneakers while they train to strengthen their running legs? Should I pray for them? Really. Frustrating. Uh oh, now I have a new addition to my fourth step...

4 comments:

  1. Ames- I LOVE reading your blog! It brightens my day and makes me smile :) Love you...keep them coming!

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  2. Awww, Audge, you make my day! Thanks for the kind words and thanks for reading! Are you gonna get back to yours? I'd love to see you write more! Love you Ü

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  3. There are still some dedicated Jazz fans out there I'm sure. Can't say I'm one of them...

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  4. Dad--tough to stay true to a team when there's really no "team", by definition...

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