Sunday, March 27, 2011

Baby steps to my Everest...

So I sent off the application, written and video, for The Biggest Loser, season 12 on Friday! Wow, what a freaking project! My sis Alicia and I have had so much fun putting it together. I have laughed so much with her, but I think a lot of the laughing was because I didn't want to cry because it freakin' hurts to realize what I am dealing with (i.e. ME) today... Seeing yourself on video in a sports bra and spandex... NOT fun. I look at myself and realize how much denial I've been in for so long. I have become the Queen Mother of denial and rationalization! Like I'll see a photo of myself or see myself in the mirror, and I just somehow disregard the image and tell myself that's not really me. The camera adds a hundred pounds; the mirror is defective... Holy crap you guys!

So: it starts now (again, again, again. Again.)! Today I am accountable for what I do to/with my body. Whether or not we are picked for the show, I am committing to live a healthy lifestyle. I can't do the things I truly want to in this body. I am 33 years old, I have lots of years ahead, and the world is a huge place with so many people to meet and things to see and just life to experience! The only person who holds me back from all that is Me. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired!

What can I change today? A character defect I have is that I make big plans and get all excited, then I lose interest quickly and don't follow through and/or procrastinate doing what needs to be done. That is NOT working for me, obviously. I watched a series on people who climb Mt. Everest, and something that hit me was that they literally could only do it one tiny step at a time, and each tiny step was just as important as the next. I think small steps are the best plan for me, today.
Today I will:
  • Drink half my bodyweight in water. I can do this, water is free! It's not a matter of rocket science, and gulping water will not strain/sprain or break anything.
Oh, and by the by, I committed on my audition video to quit smoking. I have purchased an E-Cigarette, and have been kinda using it and kinda smoking real ones, with no plan. Help??!


  1. Oh my gosh girl! You are so brave...I admire you so much! I'll be rooting for you and praying you get Bob as your trainer! lol You girls are so much fun, I miss hangin' with y'all!

    I'm so proud to know you and LOVE being in touch with you again!

  2. I really wish you would quit talking about me on your blog. LOL! Telling my story without my consent! Hehehe!!I am with you! Anything you need...motivation, a kick in the ass, support....whatever. I am here!

  3. Baby steps you got this!!! I'm so proud of you for wanting to do what's best for you.

  4. This is exciting. You will do great!