Dear Mr. Smelly Coat

So I went to the post office yesterday to mail something to my dad who is in the exciting city of Milwaukee. I'm standing up at the window and am slammed with this horrible odor! It's one of those where you don't know whether it's worse to breathe in through your mouth or your nose. I check my pits first, as you all know you do in situations like this, then turn my head to my left and am again assaulted: the man at the window next to me is oozing this odor, and it's not just b.o. It's like that sweet, rusty stench of someone with multiple forms of b.o. who wears the same coat every day and doesn't wash it, so that each day, layers are added to layers of stench. Holy mother! I turned back to finish what I was doing with watering eyes. Please, please, please, sir, wash that coat. Or burn it. Don't make the rest of us suffer.